This sentence he said made me understand that it was over between us | BiographyFlash
I had been with this guy for forever. I can’t tell you exactly how long, because it had been up and down since the first time we met.
From the beginning of our relationship, I was the one who gave the most, the one who put everything into our love story, while he kept a part of himself in the background.
He always had an excuse: he was emotionally unavailable. It was the best he could do, the only way he knew how to express his love for me.
Me, naively, I was not satisfied with just the crumbs of his love. On the contrary, I was even happy to have managed to conquer such an inaccessible man, although he never really was.
I was so grateful for every little bit of love he gave me. Every smile, every kiss, every message was so precious to me, because it came from someone who was clearly incapable of love.
I’m not going to lie to you. Most of the time I felt miserable. I wanted to leave, but I just couldn’t.
Besides, he gave me just enough to keep me by his side. Just enough to spark hope in me and keep me from leaving.
I’m going to be honest here. This whole situation has turned me into a demanding woman. Instead of changing my situation, all I did was complain about not being able to change him.
So the other day our eternal argument began. I told him how bothered I was by the lack of attention he paid me.
I told him frankly that I felt unloved and unwanted. I said I felt like he didn’t care if I stayed or went.
I complained that he never did anything concrete to keep me by his side. That he never lifted a finger for our relationship, while I moved mountains for both of us.
And you know how he responded? He told me : “What more do you want from me? I’m doing everything I can.”
At that moment I understood that this was really the most this guy could give. He’ll never try harder, and that’s all I’ll get from him.
He truly believed that this was how a relationship should work. He honestly thought he was the perfect boyfriend.
After all, he wasn’t cheating on me (as far as I knew) and he wasn’t physically abusing me. According to him, that should be enough.
I wondered if that was enough for me. Was I ready to settle for these crumbs for the rest of my life?
It didn’t take me long to come up with an answer: NO, and it never will be.
So what the hell was I doing next to this man? It will not change, my criteria will not change. Therefore, the only logical solution is that we should separate before it is too late.
This is how a simple sentence clarified my vision. She forced me to take off my rose-colored glasses and, for the first time in my life, see things as they really were.
Somewhere I read that there are 20 steps between two people. Well, in all these years I’ve crossed 19 and he wasn’t ready to make a single one towards me.
You probably think he didn’t say something terrible. That it wasn’t that bad and that I was just creating unnecessary drama.
But believe me, this sentence was really huge. And I’m grateful my ex said it out loud.
You know why ? Because it saved me from my own misery. This protected me from all my hopes (which were clearly in vain from the start), from my own illusions, from this relationship which was doomed to failure from day one.
I’ll be honest. This doesn’t mean I forgot about this man overnight. After all, I have loved him for so long and he cannot be erased from my heart and mind in an instant.
Yes, it will take time for me to heal. But at least now I’m on my way to recovery.
Also Read: Unless He Makes A Real Effort To Love You, You’re Better Off Alone